Strange New Products: January 2006

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Fridge Packs for Paper Towels

by Steve
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Georgia-Pacific Corp. is now selling its popular Brawny Paper Towels in a new box designed to work like a "fridge pack".

Instead of those giant plastic-wrapped squares of twelve rolls you get at Costco, it comes in a 15-count box you can hang on the wall, have it dispense a new roll when you need one.

Hang it next to your Lazy-boy for eating pizza and watching movies. Hang one up in your RV to clean up those spilled glasses of Metamucil. Of course, you may get spooked having some Paul Bunyan-esque figure smirking at you with that shit-eating grin. Better off hanging him in the closet instead! Still, he'll be happy to serve up a fresh roll anytime.

Stash-a-packs are already available in stores across the country.

Now all Georgia Pacific has to do come up with one for toilet paper.

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Racial Tolerance Cigarettes

by Steve
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Tolerance Cigarettes is the newest tobacco product from Heintz van Landewyck, a Luxembourg-based maker of cigarettes. It's marketed to promote a world of friendliness, communication and positive vibes.

I don't have a more specific webpage to refer you, sorry. The manufacturer doesn't have this on their website yet. This info comes from the latest report out of DataMonitor's ProductScan service.

According to Heintz van Landewyck, using the word "tolerance" in a brand of smokes is supposed to send a message of anti-racism, anti-terrorism and encourages different cultures and races to live together peacefully.

As someone who doesn't smoke cigarettes I don't think I'll find them very "tolerable". But I guess the next time someone gives you crap about your Yarmulke, hand him a Tolerance Cigarette.

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OxiClean Laundry Bombs

by Steve
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Orange Glo International, Inc. introduced its new OxiClean Solid Laundry Detergent 3 Piece Kit, or what my wife would dub, "the laundry bomb".

The 3 piece kit consists of two hardened balls of OxiClean laundry detergent, and one fabric bag. You put a ball into the bag, and throw the bag into the washing machine. Then you dump all your dirty clothes into the washing machine as well, and run it. When the laundry is done, you pull the clothes out, but leave the "ball and bag" in the machine. It's good for 40 loads.

No more worrying that your teenager might pour too much liquid detergent into the wash!

Orange Glo had this product on their website earlier in the month as evidenced by Google's cache, but it they took it down. The cache page says it's good for 25 loads, yet the product data report I have here says 40 loads.

I suppose it would have really been "the bomb" if the bag were big enough to hold both balls. You could go to the laundramat and ask to borrow someone else's sack of balls, and say stuff like, "Ooooh, your balls smell like lemons!".

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Still Recovering from a Motorcycle Accident

by Steve
Monday, January 30, 2006

I haven't blogged much here because I've been stuck in a hospital recovery from a motorcycle accident I incurred on January 21. I was discharged home yesterday.

Long story short, I have a kidney contusion, fractured right wrist, a black & blue big toe, and scrapes along one side of my face. They put a cast on my wrist, which makes it difficult to type, and to make matters worse, I developed a really nasty allergic reaction to the cast. Go figure!

If you want more details, read the full story on my corporate blog.

I hope you check back more often, I'm gonna start blogging again, though it'll be slower for awhile.

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Bed Light Scares Monsters Away

by Steve
Friday, January 20, 2006

It's a know fact that monsters, who like hide under kids' beds, don't like lights. This is why Mother Nature has endowed children with a defense mechanism to turn on lights when they suspect a monster has taken residence beneath their place of slumber.

The Blue Moon Night Light manages this for them by preventing monsters from moving in, and allowing boys and girls to sleep in comfort.

Powered by 14 super bright LEDs, with a life span of up to ten years, it will last long enough until kids grow up to such an age where monsters take no interest.

$29.95 from Solutions

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Corn Dog Air Freshener

by Steve
Friday, January 20, 2006

In our younger days, my wife and I would go to Price Savers (kinda like Costco today), and buy a big box of corn dogs. For dinner, we'd pull out about six of them, nuke 'em, and have dinner.

During the microwave process, when the aroma of corn dogs wafted its way through our tiny condominium, she would say, "Mmmmmmm, Ohhhhh, smell that!", a la Homer Simpson.

When I saw this Corn Dog Air Freshener, a light went on in my head thinking I could now get her to reproduce the same culinary expression of lust in the car. But apparently, this thing smells like mustard. (Yack!)

$4.95 at Archie McPhee

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Capsulized Protein Beverage

by Steve
Friday, January 20, 2006

Protica, Inc. announced the introduction of "Profect", claiming to be the world's first capsulized protein beverage.

The ready-to-drink vial-shaped container contains only 2.7 fluid ounces of drink, but delivers 25 grams of protein, with no fat, no carbs, and 50% of the recommended daily allowance of B vitamins, as well as Aspartame.

The company claims that its patent-pending vial design is "virtually unbreakable", giving you peace of mind from clumsy fingers and strong sphincters.

$3.99 per vial

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Dog Treat Launcher

by Steve
Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Sometimes it's products like this that makes having a dog so much more fun.

The Snackshotz Treat Launcher shoots a dog treat about 12 feet away, sending your four-legged pal running off with reckless abandon to find the tasty yummy. Just grab a bag of treats, sit in your favorite chair, and give Buddy a good workout as he runs through the house tracking down treats.

Dogmatic Products Inc., the company that makes the Snackshotz, says you should only use it with Discos Flying Dog Treats, claiming its the only dog treat that works with the launcher. Sounds like Dogmatic has a hand in that product as well!

Watch the video to see it in action.

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Lollipop Screws on to Soda Bottles

by Steve
Wednesday, January 18, 2006

When you're chugging a Mountain Dew from a plastic bottle, don't you just wish the bottle's opening was a green apple-flavored lollipop?

That's what the Soda Pop Top is. Billed as a new "Super Sippin' Sucker", it's a plastic bottle cap with a lollipop valve. As you're taking a swig of soda, you're mixing it in with fruit-flavored candy.

According to Confectioner Magazine, little Julia Cerere, age 9, had a habit of pouring soda into a bottle cap, and then dipping her lollipop into it. Her family caught on to this as ticket to financial freedom, and came up with the Soda Pop Top.

Available in six yummy flavors, the Sippin' Sucker is designed to fit most standard plastic soda and water bottles, and is said to be shipping out to 7-11 and Dollar General Stores.

Via Junk Food Blog

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SmartPill Monitors the Length of Your Innards

by Steve
Tuesday, January 17, 2006

SmartPill Corporation has developed a remote monitoring device in the size and shape of a pill. After swallowing, it works its way from your stomach, through your intestinal tract, and out your anus, all in a period of 24-48 hours.

Today the company announced that their little tummy-trekker will be available on the market this Spring.

The SmartPill captures biomedical data throughout the entire length of the gastrointestinal tract and wirelessly sends it to a small receiver worn on a belt clip. It detects pH levels, temperature, pressure, and elapsed time to help diagnose cases of Gastroparesis, a condition where stomach contractions weaken causing food to sit for several hours.

If you ask me, the company could easily set up a licensing program allowing other companies to develop a laundry list of after-market "add-ons". The folks at X10 Spy Camera could incorporate video feeds, while the folks at Linksys could build 802.11g compatibility, and the folks at John Deere could build a tiny set of tractor wheels. I mean it goes on and on!

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Frisbee for the Office

by Steve
Monday, January 16, 2006

The "Stretch-ee Flyer" is a flying disc made of a soft and flexible material allowing it to be stretched up to four times its normal size.

What I found strange is that the package is stamped as "Home and Office Approved", suggesting that guys at the office can toss the Frisbee-knock-off from cubicle to cubicle. In fact in a press release, the manufacturer, HandStands, says its available at CompUSA and several office supply stores. The fact that they would market it such is perhaps a commentary on the state of American workplaces.

They also sell promotional versions of the Stretch-ee Flyer, offering to put your company's logo on the disc.

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Credit Cards with Digital Displays

by Steve
Friday, January 13, 2006

A company called Aveso Inc. has developed a new type of "Smart Card" that incorporates a digital display along with buttons.

It could revolutionize the way we use credit cards and gift cards.

As a credit card, it can be used to provide an added level of security. In order for the credit card to be used, the cardholder would have to use the buttons to enter their PIN. The correct PIN then unlocks the card enabling it for use, as well as accessing data such as balances and credit limits.

As a gift card, the LCD display can provide the cardholder with information on how much of a balance is remaining, and the expiration date of the card.

As a membership card, the LCD display can indicate the amount of loyalty points, expiration dates, or membership level.

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